Dare to Dream

Last Friday, I had the privilege of attending Northeastern University’s Graduation Ceremony at the Boston Garden. The arena was filled with over 4,000 energized graduating students and 20,000+ guests. The atmosphere was one of joy and anticipation. Students were both proud and relieved to have completed their undergrad studies and receive their coveted diploma. Yet their joy and excitement in reaching this important milestone was mixed with anxious anticipation of their unknown future. It was up front and immediate….it was right before their eyes. Who would they be when they grow up? What did life have in store for each of them?

In those electrified few hours of the graduation ceremony, the love and pride of family and friends was palpable... you could feel the positive energy in the air. These graduates were ready and eager to dream. It could be best described as…… a “Perfect Moment”.

I had never been to a big University graduation before (I forgot to show up at my own), and found the experience profoundly inspiring. All of the honored speakers encouraged the students to create their futures…to never stop learning; to venture into areas unknown and not be afraid. They challenged all of us to dream, to create our own vision… to aspire to greatness.

Aspiring to greatness is an essential “Secret of Life”. Our inspirations…our dreams, are as important as the air we breathe….they are vital to life. Aspirations drive us in a direction to become better than ourselves. When we aspire and fully commit to a goal or a vision, we achieve. Our aspirations are clearly our goals. And our goals are simply our dreams with measurable results connected to a timeline. A dream without a measurable action plan and definitive deadline is just a “wish”. And the difference between a dream and a wish is everything in determining quality of life.

Why bother aspiring to mere mediocrity? Why wish our way through life? Why settle for less? In order to create our futures….to move forward in life, we need to expand, grow, and extend beyond our boundaries. We need to focus our personal will to become better, to become more! We need to aspire to greatness.

Where I work, at the Hearts On Fire Brand, we called them “BHAGs” (big, hairy, audacious goals). All of us at Hearts On Fire aspire to be “Best in World” at what we do. Aspiring to be “Best” creates passion for our vision and keeps us motivated towards action. We hold ourselves and our teammates accountable to measurable goals… accountable to our BHAGs.

At Hearts On Fire, when we are in the “Zone”, it’s a beautiful thing. I often describe it like dancing in a complex and demanding ballet. With a single vision of perfect execution, the dancers (team) dance toward the crescendo… the finish….the deadline. The dance… the activity….the project, creates art and accomplishment. It generates a magical momentum of movement.

Our aspirations and our dreams in many ways determine who we are and how we encounter life. Deciding to re-set or better yet, re-create our aspirations, sets us in motion to positively influence and change the quality of our lives. So, dare to dream! Dream dreams that no one before has dared to imagine. Commit with unyielding determination to a dream bigger than what you already know or know how to do, and you will surely create a life of adventure and achievement.

                                
   Northeastern University Commencement Ceremony at The Boston Garden, May 2012

The Power of Bruce Springsteen (Music Transforms)

Every time I see Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band I am transported to another world. It doesn’t matter what my mindset is… stressed or ready to party… Bruce and the Band generate musical energy that restores my soul. For three emotional hours I am lost in a spiritual experience… a mini vacation from daily life. I dance the entire time….I sing with total abandonment….. my heart is clearly on fire! I have purposely jumped into a deep pool of pure joy.

In these perfect moments of musical bliss I am connected communally with almost 20,000 fans. Together we create mind boggling energy, orchestrated by our indefatigable minister of rock and roll… Bruuuuce! We are all sharing a spiritual moment… a perfect moment of harmonious FUN. All 20,000 of us are collectively bonding. We are experiencing one of the most dramatic effects of Bruce and the E Street Band… the music’s power to induce an almost trance-like state. Bruce (music) has the power to transport us into the “Zone”.

Every culture throughout man’s recorded and unrecorded history has generated music-induced trance-like states. It is often ecstatic singing, dancing, rhythmic rocking, and the powerful beating of drums that breeds excitement and connectiveness in the participating community….it’s primal. Humanity has been singing, dancing, and praying together for a hundred thousand years. It is a basic, intrinsic “Secret of Life” similar to a deep meditation that can alter our individual and collective states of consciousness.

Today, just like the last hundred thousand years, the communal celebration of a Bruce Springsteen concert has the musical power to bond people together…..to unify an audience into one giant living, breathing, singing organism. Now, that’s what I call synergy!
When a group of individuals are connected with purpose and passion through the power of music, the music transports us… it elevates and changes our emotions… it resonates and restores memories.

Springsteen’s legendary song “Thunder Road” is so vividly imprinted on my emotional brain that it literally brings me to tears. It is the deeply ingrained memory of being a pall bearer at my dear friend, Lenny Zakim’s funeral 12 years ago. That highly charged emotional day, six close friends carried Lenny out of the Temple sanctuary to Bruce singing “Thunder Road”. It was powerful…..and a moment in time that is forever etched in my soul. The minute I hear “Thunder Road", it triggers that deeply rooted memory to the extent that I actually feel like I’m uniting with my friend in the present moment……reaching across the great divide between the earthly and spiritual worlds, feeling my lost, departed friend… now, how powerful is that?!? When Bruce sings “Thunder Road” live with 20,000 voices joining in, I am transformed by emotion and transported to another dimension. The power of music is truly a primal and most valued “Secret of Life”.

Showing Up

If you’re a fan of old Woody Allen movies, you’ve most likely heard one of his more famous lines…. that “80% of success in life is showing up!” As simple as that sounds, just think where we would all be if we didn’t bother to… show up?! The reality is that nothing actually happens until we commit to physically and mentally taking action. The first and most important thing we do in accomplishing anything in life is to just show up. The second most important thing is to actually do something. When we take action, we set ourselves in motion and everything changes… we make stuff happen, and in the best of circumstances, we can even create the magic of momentum.

There is enormous value in a mindset that prioritizes showing up as an important “Secret of Life”. Because in life, it’s impossible to always predict what will happen, who we might meet along the way….or how an experience might affect our future. My own most life-changing example…..showing up on Memorial Day weekend 1973 in Birmingham, Alabama to visit my best college buddy... If I hadn’t traveled that weekend I would never have met my sweetheart Susan, my soul mate and life partner. I can’t imagine how different my life would have been if I had decided to stay home and spend the weekend on the couch. Surely there are many stories like this out there. It sounds so simple…so painfully obvious, but how often do we opt out of showing up because of fear of the unknown or just pure laziness. When we put ourselves in new and/or sometimes scary places, we learn… we expand… we grow out of our comfort zones, and good stuff happens. When we show up, we set ourselves up to meet interesting people, add exciting experiences to our knowledge base, gain insight, and build a diversified view of our world.

For me, I value showing up as an adventure. Susan and I are blessed to travel the globe….see beautiful places and best of all, meet extraordinary people who are often doing amazing things.
Showing up in strange places, being open to spontaneity, or finding ourselves in unpredictable environments can actually be exhilarating. Those unexpected, intense experiences are often our most “Perfect Moments” in life.

Life can be challenging, and not always as simple as just showing up. One of the “Secrets of Life” is how we show up. For me, I maintain a personal discipline of being over-prepared and doing my utmost to stay true to doing what I say I’m going to do. As much as I am addicted to spontaneity, I’m not comfortable with “winging it”…..for me it’s about anticipation and preparedness.

Mastering the art of showing up requires thoughtfulness; it’s about remembering the little things, being there when needed, celebrating life’s changes and mindfully participating in the ordinary as well as the extraordinary. It is a “Secret of Life” that requires us to have integrity of commitment, which normally means that we need to show up often and repeatedly. In order to be that good friend, loose that extra weight, master that difficult challenge, or honor our promises we have to just show up and do the work! Where would we be if we didn’t show up?

Unyielding Determination

It‘s amazing how time becomes distorted as we age… strangely, it actually appears to accelerate! It truly feels like I just sat down to write my first blog, “New Beginnings", and in a blink of an eye, it is 20 blogs and exactly one year later. To my delight, we are back… perched on my favorite mountain in St. Barth’s, devouring the inspiring magic of this spectacular Caribbean island. I feel very “zone” like here, grateful to be in the moment, appreciative of nature’s display of beauty (sunsets, moon rises, foliage, beaches) and enjoying re-charging my creative energy batteries.

Today, I am torn between writing about a silly topic of why “belly rubs” are a “Secret of Life” or a more reflective subject… “Unyielding Determination”. Since I am currently reading the biography of Steve Jobs and learning about his life and his “Unyielding Determination”, I thought I would use his amazing story to illustrate the power of “determination” in creating one’s life journey.

I have always believed in the power of free will… that if we are strong enough, focused enough, motivated, and intensely persistent towards a clear and defined vision, that we can accomplish anything. It may take us 10,000 hours, 150 times, or even a multitude of failures to achieve our dream, but what is critically vital is our passion… our unyielding commitment to fulfilling our goal.

Most people just stop. They quit for many reasons. Primarily, it is a lack of deep belief in their ability to achieve what seems impossible: they think it’s too hard… or they are afraid.

For me, it is not about belief, fear, or commitment. My own personal demons are frustration, impatience and timing. Almost everything takes more time and effort than planned. I get emotional and edgy when things don’t move fast enough. I am driven and I can be extraordinarily intense. Yet staying true to my “Unyielding Determination” and beliefs, life has unfolded much better than I could have ever envisioned. Even when I’m frustrated and feeling like I am pushing an elephant uphill, I still feel extraordinarily lucky.

One of the “Secrets” I’ve learned in achieving goals is that “we expand or contract into the amount of time we have to accomplish a task” (that’s a Glennism!) In the Jobs biography the closest people around him refer to Steve’s “Reality Distortion Field”. Jobs was determined… so unyieldingly determined, to create product perfection from his personal vision, that he incessantly generated an intensity that would not accept anything less than his view of brilliance. This overwhelming intensity created a “Reality Distortion Field” that engulfed the people around him. Jobs’ personal intensity and unyielding belief in achieving product perfection drove the people he worked with to successfully create what they had previously considered impossible. Jobs’ intense energy inspired, bullied, charmed, and cajoled his team to create greatness… to accomplish what many of them did not always believe they had within them. “Unyielding Determination” drove creativity, it squeezed the best out of people’s skills, and it inspired a powerful intrinsic desire to change the world. When your passion motivates you every day to change the world, you become a nuclear reactor of positive change.

Most people lead lives of mediocrity. We get in our own way with why we can’t do something. Maybe we’re too afraid to commit or don’t believe deeply in what we do professionally or personally. Even if we are lucky enough to discover our passion, we often fail to devote all our energy, everything we have and more every day, to achieving our dream! The difference between fully committing to “Unyielding Determination” and making a serious effort towards our goal is like day and night… it’s the difference between being awake or asleep. It is always that last 2% of intense effort that separate excellent results from outstanding, game-changing, and revolutionary accomplishments.

We are not all born to be rebels, pirates, or mavericks and I am not advocating that any of my readers venture outside of their own nature and become someone they are not. What I do deeply believe, is that by combining “Unyielding Determination”, intense passionate energy, and creative curiosity, we are all fully capable of achieving the impossible… even greatness.

Life is Better with Movement

A New Year… when many of us vow to shed those few extra pounds we so typically and enthusiastically add on during the holiday season. It’s the time of year we push ourselves to get more motivated, get in better shape, and get moving. Movement is key… it’s one of the most important things we can do to maintain a positive mindset and healthy lifestyle.

An object at rest tends to stay at rest; and something that ceases to move rapidly deteriorates. You don’t need me to tell you that movement, or better yet exercise, is as important to our well being as eating and breathing. We are constantly bombarded with weight loss ads, exercise videos, and offers of gym memberships. In our hearts we know that regular physical exercise improves overall conditioning. It strengthens our bodies, energizes our minds, releases oxygen to our tissues and organs, builds density in our bones, and most important for me… elevates my mood.

I discovered in my early 30’s that I suffered from seasonal affected disorder (SAD). My mood changes radically with the seasons. As the long New England winters lingered on I would find myself in a type of “funk”. The best cure for what ailed me is exercise and sunshine. Exercise is an elixir for life. It’s good for everything… our hearts, our minds, our stamina, our sense of self, even our sleep.

Personally, I need to do some combination of stretching, walking and strength training almost every day. If I don’t move my body it stiffens up, my back starts to ache, my mood sours… and I get cranky! Fortunately I have enjoyed the discipline of a weekly weight lifting routine for over 33 years. Strength training is an ingrained physical habit that has resulted in pretty decent muscle tone for this 60 year old guy. What is relatively new to my routine is yoga. Three years ago I engaged a yoga instructor to teach me how to breathe. Yes… I intuitively knew that deep and mindful breathing would help me reduce the stress and anxiety that was dominating my life during the global financial crisis. What I didn’t anticipate was how powerfully positive the yoga stretching poses would have on my overall well being. I am now more flexible, my balance has improved markedly, my posture is straighter, and my core is stronger. My body and my mind feel good. Simply put… “Life is better with movement.” Movement is an obvious “Secret of Life”.

What’s important is to find one’s own personal passion for movement. It can take many different forms… walking, swimming, biking, gardening, skiing, yoga, tennis, weight training, competitive sports, dancing. I love moving my body to music. Music motivates me to dance, to shake my body and stretch… even jump up and down.

Being married to a woman who is in perpetual motion is an intense motivator. My sweetheart Susan is like a “whirling dervish”. She jumps out of bed in the morning, embraces the day, and keeps on moving. It is amazing to watch. This constant motion is her nature, but it sure keeps her in fantastic physical condition as a result. Susan is a true inspiration for the positive effects of movement.

Make it an important priority to find your personal movement passion and even better, a friend or partner that inspires you to consistently practice this valuable “Secret of Life.” Your mindset will change, your body will energize, and life will become happier and healthier.

This is more than just a New Year’s resolution; it’s an attitude towards life. So, have fun and keep on movin’!

Remember to Laugh

A senior citizen in Florida buys a brand new Mercedes convertible. He takes off down the road, floors it to 80 MPH and enjoys the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.

“This is great,” he thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal even harder. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing… siren blaring.

“I can get away from him with no problem,” thought the man, as he beared down on it some more, and flew down the road at over 100 MPH… 110… 120 MPH. Then he thought, “What am I doing… I’m too old for this kind of thing!”

He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up.

The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes, and walked up to the man. “Sir,” he said, looking at his watch, “my shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me any reason why you were speeding, that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The man looked at the trooper and said, “Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida state trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back.”

The trooper replied, “Sir, have a nice day.”

So, are you laughing? LOL… At least smiling? Doesn’t it feel great?

I just spent the last two hours reading jokes and one liners and my face hurts from smiling. I am feeling really good right now. No wonder laughter is described as the best medicine. We all love to laugh… it changes our chemistry, it releases our tension, it brightens our day.

Personally, laughter reminds me not to take myself and life so seriously. I can be very focused, maybe even too intense, about what I am working on in any given day. This intensity coupled with a sense of urgency to “Get things done,” often leaves me forgetting to laugh. Too many days without laughing and we get cranky.

Kids laugh! We’ve all seen micro videos of babies laughing. It is a physical expression of pure joy. Do you know that feeling? Nothing works faster to bring your mind and body into balance. The healing powers of a belly laugh trigger healthy physical changes. It boosts our immune system, releases endorphins, decreases pain and relaxes our entire body. But most importantly, a good laugh connects us to others and shifts our mindset to feeling positive and optimistic.

I will never forget a unique night of unabashed laughter with my dear friend Lenny Zakim. Lenny was dying. About a month before his death, Lenny and I had planned an intimate evening of pure fun. What Lenny purposely created for the two of us was truly a memory… a “Perfect Moment” of laughter. At that point in his illness, Lenny was in constant excruciating pain from cancer. He had discovered that laughter mitigated his pain and left him feeling as good as he could possibly feel. Laughter for him, was a powerful antidote.

That night we didn’t just laugh… we howled… we laughed until tears streamed down our cheeks. It was contagious. The more we laughed… the more we let go… the more we got out of our heads… the sillier we became. It was a wild, magically, fun night.

During this unforgettable evening of laughter with my dear friend, I asked him if he was teaching me an important lesson about how to approach dying. He passionately responded… that he wanted me to see that laughter was all about living!

Laughing with others builds strong relationships, it heals emotional and physical pain, it re-charges ones personal batteries, it dissolves stress and shifts our perspective of life to see situations as less threatening. Laughter is truly one of the “Secrets of Life.” Find people who make you laugh and howl with utter joy!

Happy Holidays! Remember this is the season to share laughter. Please feel free to post any short (clean) jokes in the spirit of joy.

Overcoming Resistance

Have you ever had a creative idea that you thought might change your life, or even change the world? Were you intrinsically motivated? Did you have a plan? Were you prepared to overcome the inevitable resistance that accompanies the grandest of ideas? Probably not… because quite frankly, “Ideas” are cheap! It is all about execution, execution, execution.

Personally, I have too many ideas, and many don’t make it. Maybe my resources are limited, or my expectations are unrealistic. Sometimes it just boils down to insufficient skills, or even the lack of discipline and tenacity to follow through on making my big idea a reality.

After 60 years of exploring new ideas, I realize that successful execution is all about work. This is no big “Secret of Life”! We all have to work at something in life. We all find ourselves exerting energy out of a necessity to make or do something. Sometimes when we are “In the Zone”, work can be exciting, passionate…..even joyful. Other times, it’s about repetitive action… putting one foot in front of another, and getting the job done with discipline and accountability. In either situation, measureable movement towards a specific goal brings satisfaction, a sense of accomplishment, even happiness.

In order for me to execute successfully on my “Big Ideas”… to live my dreams… to win, I have to overcome whatever resistance I am feeling. Winners overcome fear and defeat their personal resistance. Most of us have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us that we only dream about. Between the two, stands resistance. Have you ever quit a diet, procrastinated an important activity, put off learning, bailed out when you knew you shouldn’t? Then you know what resistance is. Resistance is toxic. It is the root of unhappiness, of mediocrity, of failure. Resistance cannot be seen, touched, heard, or smelled. But it can be felt. It is a repelling force. It comes from within and will give us any excuse not to execute… not to do our work. Resistance is insidious and it is by definition self-sabotage, especially when we use internal rationalizations to fuel our fear and inaction.

We can rationalize anything because there is that part of our mind that wants to believe what our rationalization tells us. It’s one thing to lie to ourselves, it’s another to believe it. Overcoming resistance is one of the “Secrets of Life”.

In order for me to achieve successfully, I have to overcome my internal resistance, focus my energies, and write a detailed plan of “How” to implement my new big idea. These first steps of the creative process are always the most exciting and stimulating for me. It is brand new! I love playing with my new shiny ideas. I find it totally engaging because I am enamored by the potential. Will it work? How big can it be? What resources do I need? How long will it take? What will I learn?

Overcoming resistance and driving to action does not automatically guarantee success. My track record is littered with failures. My mom used to say, “Son, you win one and lose eighty… but the one you win is always big!” I want to win as much as the next guy and maybe even more. But realistically I understand that I will lose some battles in order to win the war. Perseverance makes me stronger, drives personal accountability, and challenges me to push myself outside my comfort zone. Overcoming resistance is crucial for learning, vital to personal growth and an important “Secret of Life”.