Guanxi

Susan and I have been on an extremely fast paced trip visiting Hong Kong, Shenzhen, Taipei, and Singapore all in one week. Asia and especially Greater China is inspiring. The mood is highly positive, the energy off the charts, time is measured in 15 minute segments, and business is focused on results. The purpose of our journey to Asia is to extend, renew, and energize our Guanxi.

Guanxi is a fascinating “Secret of Life”. It is a Chinese concept of the power of relationships. Guanxi can best be defined as personalized networks of influence. It is the art of networking on a higher level, described in the Chinese world as a social currency based on traditional values of loyalty, accountability and obligation. Guanxi is your personal power of deep relationships that inform, educate and assist with access and connections. Why Guanxi?

“No man (woman) is an island entire of itself”. Life is about people, friends, family, community….it is about relationships. We need each other to survive, to thrive. The greater our network of interested, committed friends and family…the more powerful our Guanxi. In order to nurture our Guanxi we need to be “thoughtful”. We must take every opportunity to be generous of heart, to teach, give, support, love, do a good deed for someone without any immediate reciprocal expectation. This will build our personal Guanxi. I have often described this concept as “The Favor Bank”. Just keep depositing favors in the favor bank; it makes your life richer. Who knows, maybe someday when you really need help with something important, you may be able to make a withdrawal.

One of my most admired mentors, Bobby Sager, is an expert on Guanxi. He has spent his entire life networking globally with the world’s most evolved, talented, and powerful people. His Guanxi includes spiritual leaders such as the Dali Lama and Nelson Mandela, political leaders like Bill Clinton and several presidents and royal family members of African and Middle Eastern countries; athletes like Bill Russell and Bobby Orr; and even talented Rock Stars including Sting and Lady Gaga. He runs around the globe like it’s a little village, being thoughtful, doing good deeds, building powerful Guanxi. Bobby is totally focused on leveraging his network, his Guanxi to make this world a better place to live, learn, and grow.

In my life, I am blessed with the Guanxi of a community called Hearts On Fire. We are thousands strong, live in over 34 countries and share the same vision of making a positive difference in the lives we touch. Hearts On Fire is a global diamond jewelry brand that provides “Ultimate Recognition” for those perfect moments in people’s lives… what a wonderful mission. All of us at Hearts On Fire share in and contribute to the love, happiness, and celebration of Hearts On Fire owners. Many of these passionate, happy people become part of our extended Guanxi, adding to the power of our community. Guanxi is family…Guanxi is networks and social currency…Guanxi is a powerful “Secret of Life”.

Always Be Learning

Learn something new every day. We all eat, drink, breathe, sleep, move every day… Shouldn’t we be learning something new every day? If we are not learning, changing, and expanding as we travel through our personal journeys… Aren’t we contracting, shrinking, or even diminishing our lives? Learning is a priority, it drives personal opportunity… learning is a positive zone. A lifetime focus on learning is a powerful “Secret of Life”.

Learning involves discovery, change, and action. When we leave our comfort zone and move into our learning zone our lives become richer. We open ourselves to expanded opportunities, explore new ideas, and fuel our passion for life. The more we learn the more we earn, the more we learn the more we win, the more we learn the more we grow.

Learning means making mistakes, it means continuous practice. Learning requires doing things that we may not have done before, things we probably won’t be very good at the first time around. But if we only do what we already know how to do, then we won’t learn anything new.

In order to fully embrace learning we absolutely need to push our personal boundaries and get out of our comfort zone. Today I am high in the mountains of Utah enjoying a sunny beautiful day in a heavenly ski resort called Deer Valley… learning how to improve my snow skiing skills. It can be scary on top of a mountain. Not only does skiing require practice and pushing myself out of my comfort zone… I fall down.

In life if we don’t fall down we are not pushing ourselves, exploring unknown territory, overcoming our fears and learning something valuable. On the challenging ski slopes, I fall down and pick myself up… In dealing with the challenges and difficulties of life… I fall down and pick myself up. If I am too cautious, too careful, too afraid of something new and difficult, some situation I have not mastered before….I don’t really learn anything new.

We all need to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, for falling down, because without mistakes and practice we aren’t doing enough to learn. Learning demands action. It requires actually doing something. Learning means tackling the hard work of making something happen. In order to master a skill, become an Olympic star; achieve expert recognition in your field…. Life necessitates much more than grand dreams and inspired aspirations. According to the world renowned author on success, Malcolm Gladwell, it requires 10,000 hours of practice. 10,000 hours of repetitive action, of hard work is a long time to achieve greatness. That is why we need to start now and… always be learning.

Please share with me your thoughts, emotions, and questions about The Secrets of Life. Is anybody out there?

Positive Mindset

The most powerful force that affects our lives is the power of our mindset. The most powerful force that determines our happiness, our emotional state, our spiritual being, is the intensity of our attitude….our mindset. When we are positive of mind and spirit, when we generate positive energy, we attract positive outcomes. Negative thoughts, fear, and worry generate limited if not poor results. Negative mindset attracts failure. It is the “black hole” of energy that sucks the life out of us and those around us.

We are what we think about. If we believe in ourselves, believe in what we do, believe in our personal vision of life with unyielding determination…..we succeed. Winners believe!

Our mindset, our attitude determines what we believe and how strongly we believe it. We can’t truly fool our internal belief system by attempting to convince ourselves of something we know intuitively isn’t right. Negotiating with ourselves is always a losing proposition. We need to get out of our own way, overcome our fears, and silence the negative noise between our ears. The more positive our mindset, the more passionate we are about our lives….the happier we are in the moment. The fascinating and rewarding result of a positive mindset is that it builds on itself. Positive energy, positive vibes, positive ideas, attract positive outcomes and yield outstanding results. It is our perspective of life, the lens that we view everything with that determines whether we see obstacles or opportunities; whether we ask ourselves “why” or “why not”; whether we decide “can” or “can not”. Our mindset makes all the difference in our perception of who we are, where we are going, and if we will be successful and happy along the way.

When I get stuck in a “funk” and can’t get out of my own way, I move my body. Changing my physiology changes my psychology. And it works! Motion will positively affect emotion. At Hearts On Fire Company we combine both motion and sound to positively influence our mindset. We ring bells! Yes, when a successful sale is achieved, we celebrate by ringing bells and cheering. It’s fun! Imagine the benefits and positive power of ringing bells and cheering in a working atmosphere and how it fuels a passionate culture.

Changing our mindset is unique to each of us. The key is to recognize what works and use it. What works for you? Can you share with us one of your secrets of building and maintaining a positive attitude and mindset?

Who do you want to be when you grow up?

One of life’s most important, yet often unanswered questions is “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” Have you stopped and thought about this question? Are you living your dreams? Is your life filled with richness of family and friends, passion for work, creativity in leisure and contentment in your spirituality?

Most of us are too busy surviving….reacting to our daily challenges, stressing on the realities of paying our bills, dealing with the demand of our jobs, raising the kids, taking care of our health, keeping up with the treadmill of life…. To actually prioritize precious time for our dreams.

The questions are obvious:
“Am I being proactive or reactive in my journey?”
“Is life happening to me or am I creating my way in the world”
“If I don’t know where I am going, how am I going to get there?”
“Do I have a GPS for my life and have I fine tuned the coordinates?”

I know that without a GPS, without a map or charts I can’t navigate thru the complexities of a journey. It doesn’t matter whether I am driving, hiking, sailing, or flying…. If I don’t know my destination, how do I expect to arrive there? Wherever “there” is? I will just end up wherever the journey takes me.
One of “The Secrets of Life” is to turn your personal GPS on and to constantly adjust the coordinates. The exciting thing is you never actually get “there”. It is all about the journey, being in the moment, finding yourself in the “zone” of being in the right place at the perfect time to maximize life’s experiences.

Sounds good. But how do I activate my personal GPS? And most importantly how do I fine tune the coordinates of the trip? For me it starts with visualization…. A detailed picture in my mind of where I want to go even though I understand that the closer I get to my destination, to my vision, the more likely it will change. This visualization includes my aspirations for achievement, the depth and intimacy of my relationships with family, friends, and God. The wellness of my body and mind, my passion for creativity and inspiration, and most importantly making a positive difference in the lives that I touch. The more focused I am on my vision, the greater the clarity; the easier it is to fine tune my GPS.

Planning the journey is essential. We all need goals and aspirations to motivate and measure our progress. If you want to be “You” when you grow up than you must set standards of greatness. Mediocre doesn’t make it. Mediocrity produces poor results. Setting the personal GPS to standards of greatness requires flexibility and management. As we move forward in life our environment is constantly changing. New opportunities appear at different cross roads, passion increases with discovery of our deeper selves and the positive emotional feedback of happiness. Planning and goal setting provides us direction but we must be open and adaptable to the changes in our world and more importantly, the changes in our own likes and dislikes.

Personally, I am addicted to change even though I am a planner by nature. This means that I am often playing with the dials of my personal GPS. The results have been beyond my wildest dreams. I have had many ups and downs, obstacles, and wrong turns along the way but for me the journey has been way more exciting and passionate than I could ever plan. When I am mindful of the moment, aware of my environment, and positive of mindset, life unfolds better than I can dream it up. It is magic and I feel like I have the best job, the best marriage, the best friends and family of anyone I know. And most importantly, “I want to be me when I grow up!”

The Power of Stopping

Before we begin our journey into the Secrets of Life…We need to stop. Yes Stop. Anyone reading this blog under the age of 40 is probably doing several things right now. Multi-tasking… watching some type of video, texting, , tweeting, working, shopping… who knows what? We are overwhelmed by choices, options, stimuli and all of these activities add to our lives… we network, we learn, we grow.

But in order to start we need to stop. Stopping means being quiet enough to truly get in touch with ourselves. Have you ever just stared? Yes, just stared at a lake, mountains, the moon, the sunset? Of course you have. How does it make you feel? Relaxed? Rejuvenated? Thoughtful? Does staring help quiet some of the noise we have in our minds? You know, the loud conversations we carry on with ourselves, often about fears, about worries, about negative negotiations we are constantly having with ourselves. It can be very noisy and negative between our ears.

How do I gain control over my own thoughts, my own mindset? Stopping is a discipline, a gift to oneself for re-charging the personal batteries and tuning the internal channels. Stopping or quieting the mind so we can get in touch with our intuition, with our creative and visionary channels is truly a Secret of Life.

Some people practice meditation, sitting quietly focused on a mantra or internal light, emptying the mind of noise and distraction. Meditation increases one’s ability to focus and to live in the moment. Very powerful. Some of the most accomplished people I know do some form of meditation to quiet and strengthen the mind. It is like any practice of exercise you choose to embrace… The more you practice the better you get, the stronger you become. Now I am not suggesting you all sit down cross legged, light candles, and begin to fight with your mind over who has control. What I am saying is the power of stopping is directly related to getting in touch with your intuitive/creative mind.

Personally, I like taking walks. When I make no conscious attempt to get into the quiet zone... If I just enjoy the natural rhythm of a brisk walk…somewhere around twenty minutes into my walk I find myself in a creative space. Ideas flourish, and I see things with a sharper focus. I feel ideas, I have moments of insight, I can occasionally have epiphanies. It is almost as if my intuition “feels” these moments of clarity. Isn’t it ironic that rhythmic repetitive movement such as walking, running, dancing can calm the mind and help us stop. It can bring us to a place, a zone in our mind that brings clarity, stimulates creativity, and places us in the moment. Stopping the internal noise, quieting the mind is powerful. It doesn’t matter what your discipline is….meditation, staring, walking running, breathing…

Just do it! Prioritize your personal “Stopping” activity… Consider it like exercise, eating or sleeping. Make it daily, perfect it with practice. I use the power of stopping for re-charging, connecting with my intuitive/creative brain and taking back control of my mind. And when I am mindful, when I remember to focus on “The Secret of Stopping”, breathing, being in the moment… my life becomes proactive instead of reactive.

If you struggle with “Stopping”, with quieting and controlling the mind, it is completely normal. We all have loud noise in our heads and it is very difficult to clearly hear our intuition with all the distractions of these unruly, internal conversations. If you want to shut these loud internalizations down quickly…go away. Yes, go as far away to a quiet spot as time and money can afford you. For some it may mean a simple walk in the park, around a lake, on the beach. My preference is old forests. I’m able to feel the energy, oxygen, and majesty of old trees. The further away I go the quieter my mind becomes. All those day to day worries, important details, crises become less significant even trivial. Today, as I finish this entry my mind is quiet. It is my 60th birthday. The sun is rising over our tent deep in the Moroccan desert. The air is crisp and sweet, the light radiates intense shades of reds and pinks, and the sky scintillates a silky blue. There is no movement, and the moment is without sound. I have stopped…very powerful.

New Beginnings

I have always been excited about new beginnings. It is the positive anticipation of starting something new, exploring the unknown, taking the first step of a journey that energizes me. This feeling of exhilaration is probably why I spent my professional life as an entrepreneur and my personal life as an avid traveler. Experiencing something or someplace I have not explored before puts me in the immediate moment and opens me up to learning about myself, about the world. For me, the writing of this Blog is such a moment.

I have often dreamt…..well not exactly in Blog form…of writing a book, a reflection of my incredible life experiences, a synthesis of years of learning, a road map of my adventures. Now that I have actually taken the first step to share “The Secrets of Life”…I wonder…will anyone be interested in what I have to say? More importantly, will readers learn anything important from my words? I hope so and I hope to provide some insights that you can apply to all aspects of life.

Why embark on this journey now? For me, the timing is perfect. At this very moment I am starting out on yet another new beginning….It is late afternoon, in mid January 2011, I am perched in a lovely villa on St. Barth’s overlooking the intense colors of the Caribbean sea…feeling the warm delicious gentle breezes… The moment feels so wonderfully perfect. It is truly a new beginning… The beginning of my 60^th year of being. It is almost impossible for my mind to comprehend that I am turning 60!

My 60 years have been filled with love, rich in learning, and loaded with adventure. I have great health, a dedicated group of friends, teammates, and business family that span the world… constantly enriching my life with their support, love and knowledge. And the most important blessing of all, the best thing that ever happened to me…A 35 year marriage to my beloved Susan.

I have been so lucky and blessed that for many years my Mom nicknamed me “Mr. Lucky”. My personal reflection of life inspired me to describe my journey in crystal clear terms… “I want to be ME when I grow up”.

I am not saying that life is or has ever been perfect. Life is not perfect; in fact it isn’t always that great. I have had many stressful, low energy, disappointing periods in my life. I am not a master of life. I have a tendency to fall out of the sought after “Zone” for long periods of time (much more discussion about the Zone in future Blogs) but I have always been able to find my way back home. And I guess that road map home is why the “Secrets of Life” are so valuable. Many of the “Secrets” we will discuss are pure common sense, while others will bring new perspective and insight to life’s journey. One thing is certain… actively practicing these “Secrets” with focus and prioritization will build personal power. You will find yourself gaining control over your life, envisioning and creating your future, even experiencing epiphanies!

And who knows, maybe you too will be saying “I want to be me when I grow up”.

The next entry will be written in the desert of Morocco...photos too. It will be titled “The power of stopping”. I am looking forward to your comments and friendship.